Gratitude Part I: The Difference in Gratitude v. Thanks

During the past two years and two months, I’ve truly learned the difference between gratitude and thanks.

Even if I wasn’t in a place, emotionally or mentally, to express it, I understood in greater depth how the two differ. To some it may be obvious. To others, maybe not.

During a time when the culture in the US becomes more polarized and people are quicker to anger, I find it important to remember the teaching of my paternal grandmother in showing gratitude.

Difference #1 Casual v. depth

When I think about “thanks,” it’s very casual as if someone is walking out of a bank. You hold a door for someone, and they say, “thanks.” Sure, it might be truly meant. But it’s casual as easily as eating hot dogs in the stands at a game. I think of it as thick white clouds on a sunny day forming a shape. What those clouds create in shape is open to interpretation.

Gratitude, whether you express or feel it, comes from the depths of your soul because of the time or action another takes to help you during a challenging situation.

After a tornado, Corrie’s sudden death, and John’s cancer; it was difficult to work through all the emotions and thoughts without input because everything happened so fast. I’m just now getting to a place in my grief journey where I can begin to work through everything.

I felt gratitude for the staff at middle school where I work, and my son’s two previous elementary schools, especially after Corrie earned her wings. I was not in a space during 2020 where I could express gratitude as I wrestled with grief.

After all, I just wanted my daughter back. I was in a stage where I was afraid I’d forget memories of her and the sound of her voice.

My co-workers were a part of a meal train. They did things for my son. They did not forget us.

What I felt for family, friends, co-workers and members of the church we’ve visited with Corrie is gratitude from the depths of my soul for so many reasons. One of my co-workers told a little story about Corrie’s spunk more than one week ago. By her remembering Corrie, it meant the world to me.

Difference #2 Quickly forgotten v. always remembered

While this difference could easily go with casual v. depth, I believe thanks is sometimes quickly forgotten. Gratitude is always remembered. It is what we remember long after an action someone else or we take.

I think of quickly forgotten, or thanks, as the goldfish in someone’s aquarium. “Oh, they have a goldfish.” Yet, every time my family goes to a seafood restaurant, and spots the “Nemo Fish” in the aquarium, it is forever remembered.

Gratitude is our Nemo Fish. Just like the movie Finding Nemo, remembered and relatable to so many (even touches on grief in the beginning); gratitude sticks with us. It’s even like a great BBQ sauce that only tastes the way you love in that one hole in the wall restaurant.

“Thank you” is what we leave behind as we walk at a quick pace. Gratitude is what remember in the quiet hours when everyone is gone.

I was never good at writing thank you notes. With the rise of Amazon Wishlists for teachers and Donors Choose to continue a LEGO, STEAM vision in the English classroom; I’ve increased thank you. When a parent sent items, I put “With Gratitude” instead of “Thanks” or “Thank you” at the bottom of my note.

Gratitude is something I recall like a well-loved memory.