If I share lyrics of a song, such as Celene Dion’s My Heart Will Go On from The Titantic, or It’s Your Love by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill to express love for my husband; he would laugh.
While a lot of my writing has expressed heartbreak, sorrow, or anger; at the heart of it hope is maintained, and when the spring returns, humor found.
Even with the line I wrote about, my husband would say, “Why can’t you just say, ‘We laugh a lot more than we have cried or shown anger?'” Then he’d give a stand up comedy line.
I still remember my idealistic view of love at 13-years-old through my sheltered and neurodivergent mind. One sin is not the act of love itself, but in how many times I played and sang My Heart Will Go On. (I squirm if I hear it now.)
I had the guts to sing it to karaoke in downtown in front of everyone at my hometown’s original festival, Festifun. My dad was waiting offstage to drag me to a rehearsal at the church because I was waiting and waiting for the opportunity to perform that song. I was so serious, too.
John and I have known the “for richer,” “for poorer,” and “in sickness” parts of our vows well in thirteen years of marriage. We have traveled through dark tunnels making peace within ourselves over miscast judgment, illness, death, and disagreements. We have lost our daughter, and learned to love each other in our grief journeys. I have loved–and still love–John in such a way as I never loved.
I love his ability to fix and build anything. He has the ability to assess a problem, and find a reasonable solution.
I adore his smile, the how his eyes remind me of a summer day on the Blue Ridge Parkway when our son was a baby, the sparkle in his smile, and the confidence in his tone. His response to all of this would be, “You need your eyes checked.”
But just like my TikTok today, I wish to find the right words to express my love and gratitude for John. When I look at him, my eyes still sparkle. He makes me laugh in such a way that makes me say, “I love you so much.” He has guided me through the difficult, and supported me when I wanted to walk away from the uncomfortable.
To be 32 years apart in age, we share so much in common from our love of history to certain movies we enjoy. We will watch James Bond and Bourne Identity together. Our souls and hearts are aligned in what we each believe. We share the same politics and denomination.
At the end of the day, I want to be around him more than anyone else because he is my best friend.
This Christmas, John left me speechless with his love, care, and thoughtfulness in his gifts. He made the turkey while I did the sides, bought 3 Gro-Rite Garden beds for me, and bought several of my favorite items from Ulta Beauty, as shown in the video at the beginning. I could not believe, even after all of these years, that he did that for me.
Corrie's Season 