I once thought that right vs. wrong was clear like the black-and-white pictures of the police spraying Civil Rights’ protestors with high pressure water hoses in 1963. You knew the good guys were the brave protestors standing up for their rights, and in this case, the police were the villains.
But I guess I have a problem.
Mom and Dad Influenced Me Too Much
Everything that is wrong is twisted into righteousness, and evil wears a crown. It has taken a throne, and we are in the winter era of The Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe.
I am guilty of absorbing the lessons of my parents and grandparents, who are–and were–the best I could ever ask for.
Mom raised me with a respect for the U.S. Supreme Court–at that time–because she taught Law and Criminal Justice. She taught about Brown vs. the Board of Education and other important cases, including Roe v. Wade. For a woman who despises confrontation of any kind and had preached, “We don’t discuss politics at dinner,” Mom adored U.S. law and its history. She inspired many lawyers’ careers. While political discussions were considered private, the history of the law was respected. She truly believed the supreme court justices, no matter their political affiliation, had respect for the constitution.
Dad is my hero. Just like my husband and grandfathers, Dad never had to “prove” his masculinity–an idea that some believe has disappeared. But being a man dealt more with a humble heart while standing for justice.
Dad possesses a clear conviction for right and wrong. While he also despises confrontation, and will walk outside or come to my gardens if he is frustrated; Dad represents the truth of Christianity.
And he raised his daughter right.
Dad has helped build houses, mow people’s lawns, and volunteered at his church. He taught me that faith comes through actions; not preaching in every other word. This was an important part of the Methodism in which I was raised. It did not boast or shout faith, but rather worked through grace.
Dad said to me almost one year ago, “My conservative friends have been saying that he [think orange] is like King David.” I admitted I had heard this, but listened because I considered no one’s word wiser than Dad’s, with the exception of my husband and maternal grandmother. “‘King David wasn’t perfect,’ they say. ‘God used him. God will use the [orange].’ How can they say this when he goes against every part of the faith?”
I have tried so hard to be quiet, because I also have the part of my parents in me that hates confrontation. But I have gone to bed some nights–almost in tears–wondering how it is okay to beat people and load them into a car, how can masked individuals kidnap people, and how can anyone in their mind and heart think recent activity in the US is okay.
There is not one part of the conversation from pundits who support, or supported this, that I have misconstrued. I heard every word dipped in hatred, soaked in falsehood, and words that seem satisfying to those who feel they have lost something. But no matter how much a spokesperson dresses such words with gold earrings and chandeliers, they are still words bathed in hatred and now stain concrete on the street or in prison with blood.
In the eyes of the world, we are the living a new version of that black-and-white picture from the Civil Rights. Only now the picture is three-dimensional and on social media.
You must also be careful what you believe–from all political theaters–because certain events are being re-created by AI. For example, there are real people being snatched by the freezer people, and then there are AI generated videos, so you have to be careful what you consume from all political theaters.
Sometimes it feels like we’re approaching the moment in Casablanca where the Germans sing their song in Rick’s Cafe, and then the others burst out singing the French national anthem. The singing becomes louder and louder, until the Nazis–unable to control the defiance–shut down Rick’s cafe.
I have a problem. I cannot stay silent at the table anymore. I have too much of the justice and morality, which mom and dad poured into me. When I write this, I do not view myself as any better than the next person. I know if I fail to do something in lending my voice or actions then I am unworthy to see my little girl, Corrie, when this life ends.
I must be able to say, “Corrie, I did something.”
They say those that don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it. We have the examples of the Holocaust, the McCarthy Era, and Civil Rights. We live in a society where some of us are quick to judge the other without a deeper discussion.
What Can You Do if You are Upset with what is Happening?
– Do exercise or art because sensory overload can cause greater anger or depressive reactions. It is okay to be sad, mad, or everything; but I have found I must ground myself.
– Ground yourself through meditation, Yoga, other exercise, paint, or take a break from social media. Anne Frank wrote in a journal, and I have started doing the same. It is my safe place where I do not have to guard my words.
– Join a community. I joined my county’s Democratic Party as a volunteer in June. There are other places where you can volunteer with a group, and exercise your first amendment rights.
– Avoid jumping to conclusions when you see a video. Remember AI and bias. Find the original source.
– Keep a copy of the constitution and know it.
– Make friends with lawyers. They’re good people to know.
– “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
– Understand, please understand, there is a spectrum of people in politics. Not everyone is far right or far left. If we see the world only in black and white, we will limit our understanding.
The “Peace” Garden – Rose Garden Inspired by Jackie Kennedy
So what am I to do?
I will design and build a rose garden inspired by Jackie Kennedy’s White House Rose Garden as it was before a concrete pad replaced the lawn. It will have a lawn at the center resembling a traditional English wall garden, but I will place a walking path in the middle. The lawn will feature a ground cover, such as red clover, because it will support pollinators. I will design 8 rooms (garden sections).
The front two rooms of the garden will honor the memory of Jackie Kennedy. This is someone who my grandmother and mom adored reading and watching documentaries about, and I picked up that passion. She worked with a garden designer during JFK’s time in the White House, and created what was the White House Garden. It had the English wall garden influence. Rich green boxwoods covered the back, and dogwoods were interspersed throughout.
On one side, the white roses will honor her memory as a First Lady, while the opposite side remembers her as a bereaved mother. I have only gardened for four years. I began gardening as therapy for the loss of our daughter, Corrie. Jackie had a stillborn daughter named Arabella in 1956. (Side note: October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month.) She lost her son, Patrick, in 1963. Only a few weeks later, she would also lose her husband.
I was drawn to Jackie Kennedy, not because of politics, but because of her humanity. I wrote a poem one year after we lost Corrie called “Dear Jackie.”
I am planning to buy the JFK rose in late winter, but I am considering some others based on discussions with rose experts.
Instead of boxwoods as borders, because they are also prone to boxwood blight, I will plant arborvitaes.
One room will honor the children of Gaza–both those who have graduated to heaven and those left behind homeless or in tents. A second will honor the children of immigrants who are separated from their families or detained. The third room will honor the children who were victims of school shootings. On a local level, a fourth room will honor the children who faced homelessness, damage to their homes, or were injured or lost their lives during Hurricane Helene last year.
The remaining two rooms represent resistance and hope honoring the Victory gardens of World War II.
White, creamy yellow, and soft pinks will be the primary rose colors. I am looking at several, but I am considering the Chicago Peace Rose as one. (I have never been a big fan of red roses.)
I plan for two cherry blossom trees, at least two Forever Goldies (a beautiful evergreen), and blueberry shrubs in the Victory Garden.
Maybe this merely performative. Maybe someone will look at this, and say, “Well, what are you really doing for others?” I understand this notion. This is just one facet of which I’m a participant.
Since I took a break from Facebook, this garden came to me. I allowed my mind to just be in order to ground myself. Instead of being distracted and going into such a depressive state, I can focus on my drawings, plans to start, and adding cuttings to the greenhouse.
I am still unsure of the official name, but my dad dubbed it the “Peace” Garden. Dad was the first to design a garden on this farm, and I guess he might as well name this one.
Corrie's Season 