The Unexpected Journey

When Corrie met her sunset on May 27, 2020; I thought my life had ended.

Child loss is something I wished I had never experienced. It is something I never wish for anyone to experience. As some wiser than me have said before, “These are shoes no one wants to wear.”

I remember a woman at one of my Compassionate Friends--an international support group for parents, grandparents, and siblings who have lost a child/ brother/ sister–said that, with time, your grief journey will bring you gifts that you never imagined. Now if you had the choice to get your child back, of course, you would take it, but this is the path given to us.

For the first 35 years of my life, I had no interest in gardening or plants. I came from a family with a love for all that is green. My dad and paternal aunt both loved their gardens. Both became master gardeners, but I wanted a small yard with minimal care. Ironically enough, I married into a family where my husband inherited almost 10 acres and a house 100-plus-years old with a strong foundation and full of love.

I had to fuel my heartbreak, rage, despair, and hope that remained by a thread–after the loss of Corrie–into something. John, my husband, had a vision before we even made a public statement to family, friends, co-worker, and social media. He and I asked for plants in place of floral arrangements.

Our first of 11 gardens required a retaining wall because John envisioned placing it in a place where his mother had always dreamed of placing one. Everything would have washed away without the retaining wall. John and my father built the wall in 2020 and 2021 prior to his cancer diagnosis.

For a long time, I never imagined using this blog as anything more than a place to share memories, help others through grief with my words, and work through the pain of loss. Gardening led me to an unexpected journey. I had to keep learning, reading, and watching videos.

My growing interest in gardening led me to watch videos on both YouTube and TikTok. In early spring of this year, I started sharing videos on what I do in Corrie’s gardens. In those months, we added gardens using the no dig method. I started in January of this year after looking on Pinterest, TikTok, and reading online. Then I came across Charles Dowding, a British gardener who does all no dig gardening. He has done this since the, gasp, 1980s (before I was born).

In reality, I just share what I learn and know. When the guys at S & K Greenhouse in Shelby, North Carolina invited me to become an affiliate on TikTok with Justin’s Gro-Rite Garden; I began to reflect on how far I’ve come in this garden journey.

As 2024 reaches its own sunset, and I approach what would have been Corrie’s birthday on December 10; I celebrate the unexpected journey.