I once heard ..
that blowing bubbles is a form of therapy. It helps with breathing.
I haven’t tried it, but blowing bubbles sound like a good idea.
When our son, Hayes, was younger, and we had Corrie, both loved bubbles. We gave bubbles to every parent and their child who came to Corrie’s funeral in June 2020.
A friend and co-worker recently told me that she was going to take my advice, and focus on self-care this school year. Right now, due to lack of support, low pay, and overburdened work; many educators are leaving the profession, and feel burnt out.
Self-care and truth are two of my major words for the year and school year. Know your truth and stand up for it. If you don’t care for yourself, then you’re unable to do what’s expected of you.
I know I’m a good teacher, care about and love my students. I know I pour the love I possess for my daughter into the very classroom she and Hayes helped me establish during my first year at my current school.
But my entire being isn’t as an educator. I let go of the shadows of false words uttered during a time of weakness. They cut deep because I was trying to help my son during a tough time for him, sort through his grief, and that no one can replace his sister. I’d endured witnessing Corrie’s death, and still taught. One year later, I saw my husband nearly lose his life to stage 3 colon cancer. I thought I was able to pour my attention into our son, but I ended up like our Japanese Maple after Debby.
The truth was during that time in April that, with my doctor’s guidance, we’d lowered my antidepressant to 25 mg to see if I could handle it before going on fertility medication. All of this happened in April when I was on my lowest dose of medication since May 2020.
During the week I took off in April, I threw myself into gardening.
I bought two re-blooming Peace Roses from my favorite greenhouse, S & K in Shelby, North Carolina. They said the roses had been there for a long time. He said the moment I reserved them, other customers asked about them.
The Peace Roses became a symbol in my second setback since Corrie’s death. I would:
- Reestablish my physical strength in gardening, exercise, and Yoga,
- Work on my breathing through meditation and Yoga–(still working on this one),
- Show the person I know am,
- Dedicate more and more time to our son,
- Earn my doctorate
These are just overall goals because in order to fend off any surprise attacks, whether they’re triggers or unseen attacks, meditation and breathing can help. The goal is soften reactions to triggers, and keep the memories of May 27, 2020 locked away, so they don’t enter the forefront of my mind intense and as if they just happened.
I’ve recently come out of a deep depression that I believed was caused from coming off of fertility medication. I felt more like my usual, “I got this” self by Thursday.
Dedication to the first two weeks of school–the first as teacher week and the second with students–took me away from the gardens. Of course, as “Debby” has shown, there wasn’t much of a chance to work in the garden due to rain. I didn’t complain about the rain after the long dry periods we’d experienced in June and July.
But I remembered my promise with the Peace Roses. In order to continue in this profession and as a mom to my remaining child, I have to put in the work in the gardens. It is a part of the engine, the self-care, which keeps me living; not just surviving.
Corrie's Season 