If you knew Corrie, then there are thousands of memories to miss.
If you have gotten to know her through my writing and flowers, then you witness her effect on one person.
There are moments that hit me, and I cry.
The fact is Corrie would not want me to stay in bed and sob. In fact, first she’d try to lure me out of bed with her charm. If that did not work, then she’d make fun of me.
That was my daughter.
Here, where it is always Corrie’s season, are the funny things I miss:
1. The Way She Said “Mommy”
When we moved to our family farm, my children had new ways of letting me something was wrong. This became normal when COVID-19 created the shut down after my husband mowed paths for me to walk all over the farm, so I could attempt to keep up my usual 10,000 steps a day.
When Corrie did her all call, usually to tell on her brother, she yelled for me if I was out walking. She didn’t just shout, “Mommy.”
She yelled a new term: “Mom-mae.
2. My Children Could Not Keep Up With Me
No, no, Corrie didn’t want to venture out in the field to find me.
They had bikes and scooters. Unless I was walking in the field to the right of the house, they called for me. I pulled my hat down, turned my Google Voice notifications off during this time, so I did not hear from students either, and kept walking.
I walked about twice a day before late May. I went out in the morning, and after I made Hayes or both children lunch.
The typical route I walked took 30 minutes because I went up and down the step hills to the left of the house. When they did walk with me, they eventually left. Hayes made motor sounds, and ran the other way to his bike.
Corrie said, “Wow, Mommy, I’m tired. I need a break.”
“Okay,” I said. “Go get your scooter. I am still walking.”
“Well, I’m tired, Mommy.”
She took off to the house. For all their energy, my children could not keep up with me when we walked.
3. The Female Pressence
Every child has their own style. By the time Corrie was four, we had to reach compromises on what she could wear to school. She’d try to convince me that a certain skirt matched her favorite shirt even when she didn’t.
I miss that other female pressence so much. I miss the “discussions” we had about what she would wear every morning.
It has been replaced with paying closer attention to what Hayes wears to school. Not that I did not pay attention before.
But, he is beginning to reach adolesnce. He is hitting a growth spurt. We are constantly going through clothes, and it never seems the last of boys’ clothes or young men’s clothes fit.
He wants to wear what he wants to wear.
He wants to style his hair with gel before I can get to it. There is a natural area of his hair where it sticks up. Instead of my daughter begging me not to brush her hair, my son tries to convince me to let him gel his own hair.
I miss the female pressence because if Corrie was here, I would hear:
“Mom-mae, Hayes is putting gel is hair by himself again.”
4. “Mom-mae, Care for Jasmine Rose”
Rosie, Jasmine Rose, is hitting puppy puberty. She is chewing up everything, and raising concern. We have been trying to get back on our feet as a family. On a given day, it may be hard to motivate any one of us to complete our tasks.
So, I started training her again. I had distanced myself from Rosie in the same way I had Yoga because of their connections with Corrie.
I hear a voice say, “Mom-mae, she’s a silly puppy. I love her.”
I remember Corrie walking across the parking lot carrying Rosie in her arms before I had even paid for her.
We still love and care for Jasmine Rose.
5. She’d Love “All the Fuss”
In a cemetery group I am a part of that shows appreciation for cemeteries and graves, a woman wrote in response to this week’s arrangement that:
“I bet Corrie would love all the fuss you make over her grave.”
I was proud because the woman got Corrie just from the grave.
Yes, it is a somber and sad place, but it is my job to make sure it reflects Corrie. She would not want a silent angel statue crying. She’d want color, a large Frozen II balloon, and flowers everywhere.
Sometimes I can hear Corrie say things that are Corrie.
Corrie's Season 