Many parents struggled with whether their child’s school would host a high school graduation in May.
I built pieces for a back-to-school theme at Corrie’s grave last Sunday. I also included her preschool graduation items her teacher gave me on Tuesday.
After my daughter Corrie was referred to as a “dead child” in writing on Thursday, three months to the day after she earned her wings; I faced the worst devastation, since she left. I wrote about this in the first of my double header posts today, “I Walk the Tides.”
But I also wanted to share hope in our grief journey with Corrie.
Just as I never wanted Corrie’s life to be defined by her death or as a “dead child,” I wanted to celebrate the first day of school with her. I hoped to make it beautiful enough to celebrate her preschool graduation.
I decorate Corrie’s grave and other children’s graves because I can’t stand to think her grave would ever remain unadorned. It is also the only way I have to physically show how much I love her on this Earth.
Monday would’ve been her first day of Kindergarten. The actual day went better than I had anticipated. I wanted to do a back-to-school theme for her grave, so I made a wreath for the first time ever.
It took me longer than I thought to make Corrie’s wreath. I raced to the cemetery with the hope it would still be open on Sunday at 7:20 because I’d been there until late before. The wreath has the special touch of having been at Corrie’s farm, too.
The wreath and her princess balloon for the first day of school were in the car ready to go Sunday night. I drove like a NASCAR driver to the cemetery. It’s amazing I wasn’t pulled.
Corrie loved butterflies. She also played with crowns with her brother. She told me every girl is a princess after she’d ask me “Isn’t every girl a princess?” She loved rocks. The girl would stuff them in her drawers. She brought them from her first preschool, MacFeat, home. So I brought rocks from our farm to her. The fairy sleeps on the rocks from our farm. To have a back to school theme, I bought a little kid’s back to school bus, glued Aurora, her first ever favorite princess, and another crayon to the bus.I left school on Monday after a great first day and decorated her grave with the new decorations. It was a three day process. John cut the grass around her grave and his parents’ graves last Saturday. A family picture. Her grandfather is buried next to her. I added the preschool graduation gifts on Monday to celebrate her preschool graduation. Corrie would complain if I did not add the caramel chocolate bar. She say, “But Mommy, Mrs. Gary sent the chocolate for me.” The Woodstock went to Hayes.
I also redecorated and cleaned some graves on my Memorial Kinder Walk. I try to also find teens, but every three feet I walk, I find another baby or child. This is Alma. I have soft spot for teens because I teach the young ones. I set up a floral arrangement with a prom theme for her.
On the way to Charles’s former after school program on Tuesday, he buckled Woodstock in the backseat as a way to remember Corrie with him.
All week I worry in the back of my mind: How does her display still look after the rain and storms? Just like her first display, it stood strong and in place just like Corrie.
They say teacher turn over is high right now, and many teachers will leave the profession in five years or less. I will enter my seventh year as a full-time teacher, and my 12th year in education after I'd started as a sub and teacher assistant. I was the student in the 1990s you did not want in your classroom because I was diagnosed with ADHD and did not know how to socialize with other kids. I was due to be tested for autism, but this was considered an ostracizing experience for a child then, especially a girl. I am a third generation teacher and author of seventeen creative works.
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As a stay at home mom, yoga has helped me compose myself in ways I never expected. I am on a weight loss journey while I attempt to parent my child the best way I know how. Join me on my path and hopefully, it'll inspire you, as well!
Corrie's Season 
Nice blog