Busting Up the Brick in the Wall

Events surrounding the murder of Ahmaud Arbery calls us, as a society and individuals, to reexamine how we view each other.  

As a white girl who grew up in a middle class home, I had to reevaluate everything I’d ever learned. My parents had raised me with love and to accept all people, but there are things I did or said when I was younger without understanding another culture.

These are actions, such as assuming everyone will have the same moral point of view.  This is not the case. There are multiple moral compasses based on different cultural points of view. These views are relevant now more than ever. They’re relevant because we have to move beyond skin color.

We have to begin accepting people for who they are.  We need to listen to what Malcolm X said, and process it. My father would fume if he heard me say that. We need to read what Tomi Adeyemi is writing now.  We need to read Native American fiction and traditional tales from different the nations.  

We need to do  this, and we need to do it now because there is another cultural difference in all of us that is not visible in the skin. It is something unknown and uncomfortable because it is something we cannot see. It is something we need to read about to gain comprehension.  

The ability to process, understand, and interpret in the brain appears different in the brain just like moral points of view do in all cultures. 

Growing up, I never felt comfortable around white girls my age anymore than they felt around me.  As I got older, I wanted to separate myself from almost everyone because I became exhausted from asking myself a series of questions that don’t come naturally through my brain:

 

• Are the people I’m speaking with consumed in another conversation? 

• Did I ask about them and how they’re doing? Did I ask just enough, so I don’t appear selfish?

• Did I ask too much that I seem nosey, weird, or stalker-level?

• Am I talking about “normal” things to which everyone can relate?

• Am I getting overexcited or am I not present enough?

 

That list goes through my mind every time I have a conversation, so that I can relate to other adults. I don’t mind COVID-19 so much because I love being in the country, taking walks, being with my husband and my kids. It’s the same feeling as wearing your favorite sweatpants.   The social cue list for my missing social GPS chip is exhausting.  

Now, I’ve had the support from my parents as an adult to come to an understanding about my cognitive development to help my son.  The reality is my son, Hayes, changed the course of my life almost ten years ago. His development made me reevaluate everything, including cognitive development. He is the reason I write. 

Because as exhausting as my list of social cue questions is for me, imagine how many people there are who feel that way.

The most difficult issue some of us may have is understanding another level of diversity. 

We need to talk about what cognitive development looks like in children of all different backgrounds.  Imagine a child born with autism, and they’re born to a teen mother. The dad checked out months ago.  Is she equipped to handle it?

Here is a reality.  Atypical told the story about when its protagonist, Sam, walks home after spending most of the night at his friend’s house.  He is uncomfortable with a sleepover.  When he is on his way home, the police officers yell for him to stop. He does not.  Sam is overstimulated already when the officer walks alongside him.  Thankfully, he ends up okay.  

I’ve seen adults with autism stopped by police and put on the ground in the middle of the road.  I’ve witnessed the stories about the Ahmad Arberies on the news. Now imagine an African American male with autism walking alone.  Do we see him? Do we really see his mind first or understand his neurological development?

If we haven’t tried to understand cultural diversity, now is your call because we have another level of diversity calling out to us for comprehension.  An atypical mind has no color. It has issues with the world built around it that may or may not support it.  

There is something Pink Floyd tried to tell us beyond the education system with “just another brick in the wall.” The band is also trying to tell us there are places for certain brains while others are left out.

For a long time, my nonfiction writing wandered without a purpose.  Raising awareness about the minds we believe are less common has become my calling to bust up the brick in the wall.

 

By Rebecca T. Dickinson